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Lighthearted Saturday amusements

I should be on my way to Twickenham at the moment, but I'm not (I have a cold and the thought of sitting in a car with 4 others for a couple of hours, then sitting in a grandstand in the cold and rain for a match that doesn't start till 5ish then a late night, doesn't fill me with much enthusiasm at the moment), so here are a couple of amusing things instead.

The best pie chart ever:
Photobucket
From Funny City

Also

Things that are difficult to say when you're drunk:
a) Innovative
b) Preliminary
c) Proliferation
d) Cinnamon

Things that are VERY difficult to say when you're drunk:

a) Specificity
b) British Constitution
c) Passive-aggressive disorder
d) Transubstantiate

Things that are ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE to say when you're drunk:

a) Thanks, but I don't want to sleep with you.
b) Nope, no more booze for me.
c) Sorry, but you're not really my type.
d) No kebab for me, thank you.
e) Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight?
f) I'm not interested in fighting you.
g) Oh, I just couldn't - no one wants to hear me sing.
h) Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have no co-ordination. I'd hate to look like a fool.
i) Where is the nearest toilet? I refuse to vomit in the street.
j) I must be going home now as I have work in the morning.

From John's Jokes

Then there's always the Knights, or Twitter Knights, if you've seen them on there, but there are quite a lot, so maybe I'll actually put them in an entry of their own later.

Comments

( 10 humble opinions — Your humble opinion? )
so_vieh
May. 16th, 2009 04:29 pm (UTC)
HAHA, those are the funniest things I have seen in a while. LOL

d) No kebab for me, thank you.

I can't even say that when sober.

Get better soon!
ladyofsalzburg
May. 16th, 2009 04:33 pm (UTC)
Thanks :)

Glad you liked them. Everyone deserves something to make them smile every so often XD
zeraparker
May. 16th, 2009 07:01 pm (UTC)
*giggles* Awesome! and very scientific pie chart!
ladyofsalzburg
May. 17th, 2009 09:25 am (UTC)
Oh yes, very much so! I like that kind of pie chart, though I rarely find that I need a key with it!
loveberlinxo
May. 16th, 2009 07:40 pm (UTC)
I wonder what kind of pie that is. And now I feel like getting drunk just to see if I could say those things.
ladyofsalzburg
May. 17th, 2009 09:22 am (UTC)
I've no idea. Been wondering the same myself!

I don't think it's much of you can't actually say them, it's more of people don't ever seem to be able to say them when they've been drinking. Some people can't say them when they haven't been drinking though.
(Deleted comment)
ladyofsalzburg
May. 17th, 2009 04:10 pm (UTC)
The more I look at it the more I think it looks like a Lemon Meringue without the Meringue top.
(Deleted comment)
ladyofsalzburg
May. 17th, 2009 04:10 pm (UTC)
Very impressive!
( 10 humble opinions — Your humble opinion? )

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