?

Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

Knight jokes

I mentioned about the Knight jokes, or the Twitter Knights as it has been going around recently. Many of these are rather amusing, so here are the collection of them from Twitter. I'd like to say unedited, but there were so many that were repeated in exactly the same form, I had to edit some of them out. I've also edited out screennames for the same reason, though most of the wording is the same (as are the typos - too many things to correct for this)
You will also find that some of the same knights appear several times in the list, but sometimes they have different 'jobs', so to speak.


The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference
The knight with the highest voice was Sir Cumsicion.
The most daring, Sir Taindeath
The knight who drank too much - Sir Hosis of the Liver
The sorest was Sir Cumcision.
The best looking one was Sir Blime
His cousin Sir Loin of Beef was a cut above the rest.
The one least likely to gossip was Sir Cumspect and the oddest Sir Re-al
As was the food critic Knight Sir Lunchalot
The least conductive was Sir Kit Breaker? And Sir Plus Deficit the court economist?
The most terrifying one was Sir Nister.
The Knight of the Round Tables medic: Sir Gical of the Red Cross
And the priest was Sir Mon
But his moody teenage son in the corner, Sir Lee B'stard was something of a disappointment
I hear word that Sir Ly was an ill-humoured and gruff fellow. And Sir Culjerk was always bringing the tone down at parties.
The most argumentative Knight Sir Lee B'stard
What about the one who kept having good fortune - Sir Rendipity.
Sir Repetitious the spontaneous one ?
Cheeky knight Sir Vischarge
Nobly aided by the trusty Sir Inge!
Sir Cusclown always had a smile on his face and very big feet!
Sir Cumference
Sir Miser was sometimes considered by the other knights to be a bit presumptious
Sir concision
Sir Cumspect
Sir Inge - the assistant to Sir Gical
Sir Ching
Sir Tweet-a-lot
Has Sir Cumnavigate reached you yet? He travels the world
Sir consize
Sir Tainly He'll agree to anything
Sir Loin was famous for his choice cut of meat
Sir Percy Vale
And Sir Up was sweet and fruity
Sir Occo just blew a load of hot air...
Sir Tantee was *always* ready and up for it
Sir Real, the slightly weird one?
Sir Cumcise was not popular with young boys.
The 'Homely' one Sir Bitton
Sir Visscharge was always tipped for success
I thought the homely one was Sir Burbia?
Sir Chinforfollowers wants to be followed and not storked.
Sir Otonin was always a happy chap
Sir T. Fieable. Carries two swords. And a pumpkin?!?! Nobody knows why...
Or the knight who liked to tell stories in high places, Sir Mon On The Mount
Sir V. Ett - one to wipe your mouth on
The knight formerly known as Yugoslavia - Sir Bia
The doubtful knight Sir tainly.
The well oiled one Sir lubrious
The one that can always get you on of a jam: Sir Rebral
The cleanest Knight? Sir Factant
Sir Factant???? I will 'DIS' Sir Factant
The knight who killed Henry the 1st? Sir Feit of Lampreys
Sir Lancelot - used his lance a lot ;-)
Sir Vikal Smeer - respected gynaecologist
Sir Tain
Sir Cull
Sir Concision
Sir Cumspect
Sir Ching
Sir Ender, the cowardly knight
Sir Cuss. He juggles, he knifethrows, he swears like a trooper
Sir Bastioncoe
Sir Miser was sometimes considered by the other knights to be a bit presumptious
Sir Charge, the expensive one
The banned Knight Sir Spended
Sir Prize
Sir Percy Vale
And Sir Up was sweet and fruity
Sir Mise summing it up nicely
The inquisitor Sir Spicious
The womanizing Sir Che Lafamme. The very definite Sir Tain. The bizzare Sir Real. The ungossipy Sir Cumspect
Sir Occo just blew a load of hot air
Sir Tificate?
Sir tenty hes a sure thing
The laid back one Sir Fin
He's renowned for overeating. His girth is the talk of Camelot. He's Sir Cumference.
Sir Tantee was *always* ready and up for it
Sir Real, the slightly weird one?
Sir Lee. He's a miserable sod
The Medic Sir Jun
Sir Cumfrence goes round in circles
The drugged knight Sir Cadin
The knight who likes a flutter... Racing Sir Tinty
The best Knight of them all Sir Preem
Sir Ly - had a face that looked like he swallowed a wasp
like a skin upon the water: Sir Fes Tension
The one who makes it back from every battle Sir Vival
sir cumference has a big one
Knight who itched a lot.. Sir - iasis
The one you really don't want to talk to at a party - Sir Jess Tivecomments
The one that can always get you on of a jam: Sir Rebral
The Knight formerly known as Prince – Sir $
The one you can always rely on: Sir Tenthing
The one always on speed - Sir Plusenergy
the well oiled one Sir lubrious
The doubtful knight Sir tainly
And not sat far from Sir Bia is of course Sir Zegovina
Knight of the rural areas Sir Burbia
Sir Eetale - The one who sings sad ballads
The knight formerly known as Yugoslavia - Sir Bia
The one the took things too far Sir Vere
Sir Thedogateit never did his homework
The one with the unfeasibly large winkie - Sir Gicallyenhanced
the knight hated by young boys (especially the Jewish) Sir Cumcision
The Happy-go-lucky one - Sir Rendipity
The Apothecary - Sir Ringe
Sir V. Chewed - spent his life in slavery
Roundest knight at the table, Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much Pi
the knight of fate Sir Endipity
The happiness knight who stops depression Sir Atonin
The Shakespearean one Sir Fitt of Lamphreys
The one that likes a good grilling - Sir FnTurf
The one with the diamond encrusted cod piece - Sir Eltonjohn
The one that always sticks around - Sir Llotape
Sir eel....a user of twitter!
Always in the playground when should be round the table - Sir Saw
Sir Winkalot - He is a winker
Sir V. Ett - one to wipe your mouth on
Sir Veyer. Always measuring stuff
Sir visswash, the cleanest of all knights
Sir Lee Bugger the grumpy knight
He's not been doing his job. I think we'll have to ...wait for it....fire Sir Round
The one that dabbles in electricity as a hobby Sir Kitbreaker
The only one not wearing a little pullover? That'll be Sir Cum-Cision
Sir John General, who alerted America to the dangers of smoking
Sir Cull had a well-rounded personality.
Sir Lee was always in a foul mood
Sir Taindeath; skydives without a parachute
Sir Mon often found himself preaching to the converted
He's quite entertaining but he swears too much for my liking Sir Cuss
Sir Ender...a sir who never gives up.
The blue one with the silly white hat - Sir Murf
Sir T. Fieable. Carries two swords. And a pumpkin?!?! Nobody knows why...
Sir Picko...a gritty NYPD cop in the court of King Arthur
Sir Otonin was always a happy chap
The one who made sure all the news got around Sir Culation
Sir Reallist, with his upside down horse and melty shield
I thought the homely one was Sir Burbia?
Sir Viette :- Always handy to have on ur lap whilst eating dinner!
A real foodie: Sir fntirf
Sir Cleline...transport guru
A knight, originally from Anglesey, on horseback: Sir Mon on the Mount.
Lord Den Order - for keeping the upper house tidy ... and legal
Sir Visscharge was always tipped for success
Sir Rounsound was entertaining but sometimes considered to be ahead of his time
The quiet knight: Sir Renity
Sir Pent was a slippery character!
Sir Tainly is sure to do what is asked of him
Sir Butteo was a keen footballer, though only an inch tall.
Sir Ogate regularly stood in for other knights
Sir Tainly-Atheiving-Scumbag - previous career MP
Sir Pico. - the suspicious knight who informs on all the other knights so they hate him and try to kill him.
Did we get the priest Sir Mon?
Sir Priseurluvr Withur-Massivgirth the Knight who sells Viagra over the internet. He likes to Spamalot
Sir Cumspect - always the cautious knight
Sir Plustery Quirements. He won’t be needed
Sir Cumsalot...spent his day well!
The one who made your skin crawl, Sir Pent
Sir Cumcise was not popular with young boys.
Sir Rebralpalsy at long last Camelot stops its disability discrimination
Sir Veillance - the one who's always on lookout duty.
Sir Laris the tedious and confusing Knight in space
Sir Tendeth, the short-lived Knight
The one who made sure the horsed were cared for, Sir Viss
More *amour* than *armour*; darling of the damsels...Sir Comealot
The one who built the castle, Sir Veyor
Sir Vicks, the gynecologist knight
The pedantix one Sir Mantic
Sir Plus d'Requirements (Frenched up a bit) the Fall-Guy Knight.
Did all these serve Lord Elpus? Or Lord Amercy? Or the Good Lord Isthatthetime?
Sir Cum Vent - A useful addition to any 'raping and pillaging' adventure
Sir Cumcision was a right knob
Sir Ruptitious...he does it before anyone notices
The one who found everyone Sir Chur
Sir Endipity
Sir Cumcission was a cut above the other knights
Sir Lee was always bloody miserable
The well rounded one, Sir Cull
Sir pless was slightly over weight
The gofer Sir Vant
Sir Reebrall, the clever one
The one that held them all together Sir Clip
Sir Fin's brother Sir Fur
Sir Cu de-Soliel, Sir Cuss' poncy french cousin
Sir Mountable...definitely a favourite amongst the Round Table Boys
The one that was never needed Sir Plus
The one who jumps to conclusions Sir Mise
The one that gossips to all - Sir Cular
The one who always gives up Sir Render
The cleanest Knight? Sir Factant
The knight who killed Henry the 1st? Sir Feit of Lampreys
The knight who knew it would come around eventually (sort of) sir endipity
Renowned in frequently taught french song: Sir DuPont D'Avingon
Sir Cum Sishion
Known for his incredulity Sir Lee Yew, Conte be Serious
The beach bum knight Sir Ferdude
Sir Vikal Smeer - respected gynaecologist
Sir Prize!!
Sir Occo
The man that isn't quite all he seems, Sir Spiscion.
Sir Pullover Removed
Sir Veillance - local security at the castle
Mixing in the right circles we have Sir Cumferance
Sir render
Sir Cadian Rhythm always went to bed an hour late
The Knight of Rupture Sir Jekyll Applience
The unhappy knight Sir Lee Bastard
The Jewish knight, Sir Cumsicion.
The knight who likes a drink, Sir O'Sisoftheliver
The jockey knight who fell off his horse, Dead Sir Tinty.
Sir Loyne of Pork enjoyed himself at the barbecue
Just saw Sir Findude at the beach, greasing up his armour.
Sir Rebral Cortex a brainy knight
Sir Undip eddie a knight of chance
"They're all out this evening for the premiere, looking dashing as ever, and here's Sir Lebrity wearing next seasons steel"
The M25 of Knights Sir Qular Nightmare
Yorkshire knight: Sir Blime County
Hardened Knight: Sir Vive Ore
Knight with good eyesight and warped perception: Sir Eel Carrot
Knight fallen from grace: Sir Tane Leigh Corr-Upt
Knight of the compensation claims: Sir Face Slippery
Knight of the Soccer Moms: Sir Burban Veigh-Ickle
Knight of Regicide: Sir Plant Athrone
Knight of Mild Agreement: Sir Po Ouse
Knight of Airport Security: Sir Spish Ossley-Ticking
Knight of Spiritual Calm: Sir Wren Eatie
Knight of Enforced Duty : Sir Kom Scribed
Knight of MPs : Sir Plus Holmes
Knights of London Parks: Sir Pen Tyne
Knight of Amnesty: Sir Wren D'Yerarms
Knight of Child Delight: Sir Pry Sparty
Knight of Kebabs: Sir Speecius Meatorigin
The disbelieving Sir Lee Ewekant Bezerius
Sir Treptococcus - Bacterial bad ass
Sir LaVie – The existential Knight

Tags:

Profile

bridesmaid reception
ladyofsalzburg
Princess Peach - Empress of the World

Latest Month

April 2014
S M T W T F S
  12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930   

Tags

Powered by LiveJournal.com
Designed by chasethestars