'What's the difference between flotsam and jetsam?'
'One's spelt with a J...'
'Was it really bat sperm?'
'Where would you find the world's biggest flasher?'
'I can see Ray Winstone as a corrupt Pope, can't you?'
'He's virtually arse-less'
'Nightmare for a dresser. His trousers will keep falling down. They'll have to staple them on'
'They've got some very odd ideas for TV programmes now... Paper folding. Live!'
'What you need is length and thickness'
'The Queen was in Balmoral, being played by Helen Mirren, at the time'