May 16th, 2009

queenie execute

Lighthearted Saturday amusements

I should be on my way to Twickenham at the moment, but I'm not (I have a cold and the thought of sitting in a car with 4 others for a couple of hours, then sitting in a grandstand in the cold and rain for a match that doesn't start till 5ish then a late night, doesn't fill me with much enthusiasm at the moment), so here are a couple of amusing things instead.

The best pie chart ever:
From Funny City

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Then there's always the Knights, or Twitter Knights, if you've seen them on there, but there are quite a lot, so maybe I'll actually put them in an entry of their own later.
bridesmaid reception

Knight jokes

I mentioned about the Knight jokes, or the Twitter Knights as it has been going around recently. Many of these are rather amusing, so here are the collection of them from Twitter. I'd like to say unedited, but there were so many that were repeated in exactly the same form, I had to edit some of them out. I've also edited out screennames for the same reason, though most of the wording is the same (as are the typos - too many things to correct for this)
You will also find that some of the same knights appear several times in the list, but sometimes they have different 'jobs', so to speak.

The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference
The knight with the highest voice was Sir Cumsicion.
The most daring, Sir Taindeath
The knight who drank too much - Sir Hosis of the Liver
The sorest was Sir Cumcision.
The best looking one was Sir Blime
His cousin Sir Loin of Beef was a cut above the rest.Collapse )
bones: brennan confused

Voice by Chico - Trousers by Bacofoil

Peoples who voted for Jade to represent the UK in the Eurovision song contest. WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!

I don't like Jade, I don't like the song. She has no stage presence, and was hit by one of the violinists for standing too close to him. Also, the song was bad. It was some kind of X Factor-esque song, not a Eurovision song. It was painful. My professional opinion, as a musician, is that it was bad. I could go on, but I'd be wasting my breath. I also can't think of anything coherent to say about it all. Urgh.

People I liked:
Greece - Mr Fitness DVD. So camp, yet so fitting for Eurovision. Catchy song too
Azerbaijan - This was just good :)
Malta - So nice to see a larger lady going it alone, and one who has a damn good voice too!
Estonia - Not sure why, but I quite liked these
Denmark - Catchy, written by Ronan Keating. Very boybandish but catchy.
Germany - should win purely for the guy's trousers and Dita von Teese. Catchy song too!
Norway - Alexander. Need I say more?
Finland - I quite liked this. Am a teeny bit of a pyromaniac too but shh

Was quite surprised how so many of the songs this year sounded like other songs too. Finland had been taking notes from the Bloodhound Gang (not that this is necessarily a bad thing), Estonia swiping things from Zorro (the song being 'I want to spend my lifetime loving you'), I can't remember the others but I'm sure there were some!

Russian coverage: I liked the Cirque du Soleil stuff at the beginning, but all the twisty stuff inbetween each entry was making me feel dizzy. I do quite like the random Russian words they were trying to teach us. Ded Moroz - Santa Claus.
Not so happy with the interval entertainment though, that's just odd!

There have also been some great quotes this evening, from Graham Norton and the lovely peoples on Twitter.
@violetbakes: Greece was competing with sporticus from Lazy town, what was all that about ;D
Graham: 'Not many of them know how to do it, but they like to do it'
@ShropshirePixie: a family sized portion of extra cheesy cheese, with added cheese and a side portion of CHEESE please!!!
Graham: 'Song by Boyzone, Pyrotechnics by Westlife'
@PembsDave: Voice by Chico - Trousers by Bacofoil
@violetbakes: I thought ALW might appear with half a white mask on
@PembsDave: I had no ideas Pink did Cabaret!

Finally: The Russian Policement should have won. They were ace.