The best pie chart ever:
From Funny City
Things that are difficult to say when you're drunk:
Things that are VERY difficult to say when you're drunk:
b) British Constitution
c) Passive-aggressive disorder
Things that are ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE to say when you're drunk:
a) Thanks, but I don't want to sleep with you.
b) Nope, no more booze for me.
c) Sorry, but you're not really my type.
d) No kebab for me, thank you.
e) Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight?
f) I'm not interested in fighting you.
g) Oh, I just couldn't - no one wants to hear me sing.
h) Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have no co-ordination. I'd hate to look like a fool.
i) Where is the nearest toilet? I refuse to vomit in the street.
j) I must be going home now as I have work in the morning.
From John's Jokes
Then there's always the Knights, or Twitter Knights, if you've seen them on there, but there are quite a lot, so maybe I'll actually put them in an entry of their own later.