“A Track Fit For Heroes… The Ultimate Challenge… A Real Drivers’ Circuit…”
29 | 08 | 09
Once a driver gets his F1 Superlicence, he is contractually bound to say that Spa is the ultimate drivers’ circuit for real men. But what do they really think? We listened to an unnamed driver do a lap. See below to see what he said…
Start: This grid’s stupid. It’s uphill. Wish they’d fitted a handbrake.
La Source: I hate this, I’ve never looked in front of me, I’m too busy checking my mirrors for the lunatic who’s charged up from the back row and forgotten to brake. At least no one’s going to criticise my driving style as the ‘experts’ reckon there is no perfect line through the hairpin. Thank goodness…
Eau Rouge: Oh shit! Downhill to Eau Rouge. If I ever get my hands on the first F1 driver who said it was no longer a challenge and easily flat out, I’ll make him eat what I’ve just done in my race suit.
Radillon: Why do they say it looks like a vertical wall? It’s just a road that goes up hill. Radillon? Sounds like something I could clean the mess in these overalls with.
Kemmel Straight: OK, here we go…. and er…, here we still go… and still going and on and, fuck me, is this ever going to end?
Pouhon: Loads of corners here I can’t remember, though there’s one called Pouhon I think: Reminds me of what’s going on in my overalls.
Er… even more corners that I can’t remember: All a blur now: lefty, righty, lefty, righty bit. Must remember to tell journalists it’s really technical and puts a massive strain on the car and your neck.
Blanchimont: Not sure what this one’s called. I think it’s Blancmange. Apparently, if you’re a real driver you don’t talk about Eau Rouge anymore, you go on about this one, while narrowing your eyes and looking brave.
Bus Stop: Apart from the130R at Suzuka, is there a sillier name for a corner? We’re all millionaire racing drivers, so do you think anyone of us has ever stood at a bus stop or even knows what one looks like?
Start/Finish Line: There he is, my trainer, hanging on to the pit board and waving his fist at me. Does he honestly think I ever look at the board, when I’ve got a perfectly good radio link to my engineer? Oh shit, here we go again…