Anyway. Yes. News. I has it.
I have worked out what I want to do with my life.
Yes. Finally. It's taken me about 8 years (I think, it was late last night when I was doing my calculations) to work out what I want to do. I did my A-levels without knowing where I was intending on going. Then I did a degree without knowing what I wanted to do after, hoping it would become clear when I finished. It wasn't. I've now had some time out, the first while not doing anything really (bah!jobhunting) and now I'm in Vienna, doing a job that has taken me away from Britain and given me some new experiences and skills, but isn't something I really want to do. You can go and do au pairing again, in a diffrent country afterwards, but I really don't want to. I mean, don't get me wrong, I like it here. I have a nice family now and it's good fun, but now that I've been doing it a while, and I really know what it is, it's not something I'd choose. Yes, ones own kids would be completely different, but I don't want to look after other peoples (though it is a plus being paid to clean your own house... something you normally just have to do anyway!) I digress.
After 8 years, I know what I want to do. I want to be a Primary Teacher, specialising in Music.
Before you all go 'but don't Primary Teachers have to teach everything?' let me explain a few things. Normally when it comes to Primary School, teachers teach all subjects, regardless of what they studied at University etc. Music is an exception. There are certain places where you can actually just teach music to Primary kids. I'm not sure I want that, I'm quite happy to teach the other subjects too. Now, here is where it gets interesting. I know of someone who taught everything for a couple of days a week but taught music the rest of the time. Also, I'm told (and I know) that Teachers don't want to teach music in Primary School. It's ok if you're musical, but if you're not, it's hard work and is far easier to do something else instead. I'm also told that if you want to teach music then the other teachers will love you to death! There's definitely a niche there!
The other reason I want to do this age group is because I've taught Secondary School music and well, it's hard because most of the kids haven't been taught much if any music in Primary School. They have no interest in it and they don't find it fun because it's been neglected. I want to make music fun again. Kids will learn what you teach them. They learn lots when they're younger so if you can give them the time to teach them about things like music, rather than them just listening to it, you can get SO much out of it later. Then when they get to Secondary School they can build on things rather than starting from scratch! The Y7s I taught last year were doing stuff that I'd learned in Y4 - that's how badly neglected music is in Primary Schools. I want to change this. There's a reason they have music as part of the curriculum: it makes you a more rounded person. We need it, even if we don't realise it. We also need to get a generation of people who can clap in time too... but that's a side issue!
I have um'ed and ah'ed over teaching for several years now and for a while I started to think that maybe it wasn't for me, because I couldn't decide which age group I liked. I was also really torn between only teaching music or teaching everything. I love doing the media part of music, but that can only be done with older kids, but that's about the only thing I really like about music with the older ones - performance and composition are not my strong points, and older ones don't like the musicology part! However, with the younger ones you can do hands on basics of music. Find the beat, spot different sounds, learn notes etc all in a fun way, then you can build on it later. You have to do a bit of everything to get the most out of it. You can pick and choose which bits you like later. But, back to my point, yes I um'ed and ah'ed a lot, but I kept getting this nagging feeling that something wasn't right, so I left the thinking alone and just got on with things. It came to me less than 48 hours ago. I don't know how, I don't know why, I just know it did, and I think it's the right decision. Yes, it's been a long time coming, but it is a big decision.
The only problem is I am now not in a position to do anything about it, but, as a friend has recently reminded me, at least I now have a plan, which is the main thing. It's also the first step, working out to achieve it is the next one!