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Earlier today this entry was going to be one thing, but now it's actually something slightly different. Yes it's the same topic, but a long phone conversation with my mother turned it all in a very different direction. I shall try and explain all this as I go, but it might get a little muddled, so bear with me.

I want to leave Vienna. Actually, strike that, no I don't. I don't want to leave Vienna, I want to leave my job. I'd love to stay in Vienna, I love the city, I'd stay here forever if I could. I also like the people I'm staying with, but I'm really, really fed up with my job now. I know Ilse would love to keep me here forever, we're friends, so that's fine, but job wise it's so mind-numbingly dull. I've got the experience that I came for and now I'm ready to go and do some real work.

What do I do here? Well I start at 7.30am and I can go until 9pm, with some breaks in the middle, but I never know when those breaks will be or for how long (will explain in a minute). What do I actually do at work? I play, mostly. There are times when I do the kindergarten run, but I don't do that very often now. Normally I'm now looking after Nico (currently 8months) which means I sit on the floor a lot and play with various different toys, the stackable plastic ones of which are VERY noisy when small child is hitting them on the floor! Still, better the floor than me, they hurt when they hit me. Anyhow, as I was saying, I look after Nico. However, with him being the age he is, he often goes back to bed to sleep for an hour or so a couple of times throughout the day. This sounds good, because it means time to myself, but in reality it's pretty useless because I can't do anything. I have to stay where I can hear him when he wakes up and I get dirty looks if I'm not there like 20 seconds after you hear him cry as he wakes up. Dieter gave me a dirty look when I was late one time after having to go to the toilet just before Nico woke up. That's not exactly something you can plan... but this is from the person who took 20minutes to find out why his child was in distress and just wanted mum or dad. There are only so many things you can do in that situation - am I supposed to carry screaming child up two flights of stairs and tell them I can't do anything?

Anyway, I could continue with more things that are bugging me (and I will do, but not right now because it's late, I've just finished proofing some work and I have to get up at normal time, so that will be in 5.5hrs time...) but that's just taking up time at the moment.

Point of this entry is that I'm fed up now. I want to get out of here. Currently I'm heading home for a month in July/August (unpaid, various reasons) but I'm due to be coming back here afterwards for another 3 months. I don't think I can cope with another 3 months of this after that (I still have 3months left anyway) so I'm looking for an escape route. This entry was going to be asking for advice on the best way to get out of this. I could lie and say that I've got a job at home or I've got to stay in the UK for Uni stuff for the PGCE I want to go and do, but I'd feel really guilty about that (I already do) so I need a geniune reason.
It appears though that my mother has come up with a solution. We've discovered the one place that does the course I want to do and surprisingly they have spaces left, for starting in September. If I get my GTTR application in before the end of June, they might still consider me and I might then be off to Uni in September. This is a geniune excuse to get out of work here, and wouldn't make me feel bad. Only problem is, if I don't do this I really do have to stay until November. At least I can just remember that I'm being paid to play with toys and do really repetitive work so they can sleep.

Though, while I'm on the subject of sleep, I shall mention this. I haven't been sleeping well at all this week. Normally Ilse complains about the lack of sleep she gets especially when Nico wakes up in the middle of the night, but then she goes back to bed in the morning. She's always commenting about how she'd just like 8hours sleep. So would I. Only difference is, when I don't sleep I don't get to go back to bed, I get to go to work. Tuesday night I had about 4hrs, Wednesday night about 5.5 and last night about 6. Tonight I will get... 4 perhaps. This weekend we are away at a choir weekend. I have to share a room (thankfully only one night) with them. That means that when Nico's awake, I will also be awake (as it was on Wednesday night - I was awake, and I could hear him and he's 2 floors above me). I don't know why or how I've become such a light sleeper here but it sucks. That coupled with those nights where whenever you move you're awake... so much fun... Between 5.45am and 7am this morning (well, Friday morning) I realised I was aware of every time the cats came into my room. It was a lot of times and they're surprisingly noisy. Remind me never to get cats and completely hard floors in my house. I need some rugs/carpets etc.

How have I managed to get from saying I want to leave here to talking about carpets? Odd. Right now I've got to go and reclaim my washing from the dryer and then get to bed. I shall 'pack' in the morning I think... Also expect entries about volcanoes and politics sometime in the near future (but they might have to wait until I've proofed Liz's dissertation). If I'm feeling generous I might also give you more information on the course I wish to do, but then I might not. In the meantime if you wish to advise me on personal statements, feel free.



( 3 humble opinions — Your humble opinion? )
(Deleted comment)
Apr. 19th, 2010 07:19 am (UTC)
Yes, very much so.
Apr. 18th, 2010 02:43 am (UTC)
I'd do what your mom suggested. If that doesn't go through, I'd leave anyway. Would the guilt be worse than how miserable you would feel there for the last 3 months?
Apr. 19th, 2010 07:20 am (UTC)
That's the thing. I'm not sure I'd really be able to just leave if I don't have a geniune excuse... Well, I know I could but I'd feel guilty and I'd be lying and I think my mother wouldn't be that happy really
( 3 humble opinions — Your humble opinion? )


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