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Two years ago today I was sexually assaulted by a delivery man... In the hallway of the house I was staying in in Vienna.  

For the first time in two years I name and shame you Erhan Orhan.  DPD delivery driver.

The police here told me it would get easier, and it does.  It has.  But that doesn't mean I will ever forget it and it rears its ugly head at times when I least expect it.

The strange thing is that when I look back now I wonder why I didn't do various things... but when it actually happens, you don't think.  Your mind goes blank.  How it didn't end up as rape I still do not know and don't wish to entertain.  

It wasn't even like I was 'asking for it'.  I had jeans and a jumper on and it was 12 o'clock.  The whole thing had finished by 12.15pm... Whoever said that revealing clothing and alcohol fueled things?

Please do me a favour: don't joke about rape or assault. Don't imply that people were asking for it, ever. 

I don't mind talking about my incident if it helps others deal with theirs or come forward when it's happened but it still makes me shaky remembering it all, so if you just want details, don't ask.  I've been on the radio to talk about this with the only presenter I'd let interview me about it.  Maybe one time I will transcribe it.

I apologise if you didn't know but I didn't feel like broadcasting this at the time.

Comments

( 16 humble opinions — Your humble opinion? )
feeverte
Nov. 6th, 2011 10:39 pm (UTC)
Incredibly brave post.

I must say, though, I find "Most people aren't" kind of offensive. Because I can't think of a single scenario in which someone would ask for actual rape or assault. This might be nitpicky, but as a sign at the Vienna Slutwalk said, "It's a dress, not a yes."
feeverte
Nov. 6th, 2011 10:40 pm (UTC)
That said, I do hope it's not the dominant memory you have of your time in Vienna :)
ladyofsalzburg
Nov. 6th, 2011 10:43 pm (UTC)
No it's not. It's a memory, yes, but I have many better ones (good or I wouldn't have stayed or want to go back!) :)
ladyofsalzburg
Nov. 6th, 2011 10:42 pm (UTC)
I think I was writing something else there... I edited this to add that entire line then got distracted. I'll delete that bit cause I can't remember what I was writing!
You are right though. Think the point was: it doesn't matter what you're wearing, it's never a yes.
(Deleted comment)
ladyofsalzburg
Nov. 10th, 2011 07:48 pm (UTC)
Not your fault. It happened. Thoughts are good though, thanks :)
schneefink
Nov. 8th, 2011 11:06 pm (UTC)
You are very brave *hugs*
ladyofsalzburg
Nov. 10th, 2011 07:47 pm (UTC)
I just realised I knew you in Vienna but you didn't know that. Sorry.
schneefink
Nov. 10th, 2011 08:48 pm (UTC)
Um. You mean that we were in Vienna at the same time, right?
ladyofsalzburg
Nov. 10th, 2011 09:36 pm (UTC)
No, I met up for ice cream with you! :) I meant the other bit
schneefink
Nov. 10th, 2011 09:44 pm (UTC)
Right, I got confused xD because I knew that. (I was almost sure ^^)
No worries. A difficult topic to bring up at any time and maybe especially over ice cream. I would´ve hugged you extra hard :)
ladyofsalzburg
Nov. 10th, 2011 09:52 pm (UTC)
Next time then :)
schneefink
Nov. 10th, 2011 10:03 pm (UTC)
Definitely!

Any concrete plans to come back and/or visit?
ladyofsalzburg
Nov. 10th, 2011 10:07 pm (UTC)
Alas not yet :( No money. And I think I lost your number.
schneefink
Nov. 10th, 2011 10:19 pm (UTC)
Oh well, one day :)

I´ll send you the new number then, np.
ladyofsalzburg
Nov. 10th, 2011 10:43 pm (UTC)
Okay and I shall let you know if I end up back in Vienna at any point. It's weird, despite the above, I still had one hell of a time there and I really, really miss it now :(
schneefink
Nov. 10th, 2011 10:59 pm (UTC)
Glad that this couldn´t overshadow everything else of your stay there! :)
I´d offer to send you a card, but I´m on study exchange atm. ^^
Good night!
( 16 humble opinions — Your humble opinion? )

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