Everybody Lies. It's so true that even Dr House has it as his catchphrase in House (or House M.D. if you're stateside). There are a great many reasons why people lie and what they choose to lie about. Sometimes it's even for our best interests, or so we think. We even lie to ourselves sometimes but while that doesn't make much sense we still do it. We hide things from ourselves like we hide them from other people. We are often afraid of the response we will get if we tell the truth and so we choose to lie.
For some of us this comes naturally and for others we really have to think before we lie. But the question is, is lying ever the right answer? I know the immediate answer you'll be shouting at me is 'no, lying is never the best answer' but I'd like to challenge that with some things I've lied about this month.
I lied when you asked me if I'd had a good birthday. Actually it was a crappy birthday and I spent much of it in tears.
I lied when you asked me if I was okay. I said I was fine. I wasn't, at all. I'm still not. I lie about this every day.
I lied when I said I liked your present. I didn't like it, I loved it and yet I hated it all at once. I sat at my table and cried as I opened every section of it, my hands shaking even as I tried to remove the outer paper and by the end I was in that much of a state by the end I nearly threw up.
I lied when I said I didn't want any more pizza and gave you the last piece.
I lied when I said I could keep walking. I was in agony.
I lied when I said I liked being single. I don't, it sucks.
I lied when I said I finally knew what I wanted to do with my future and was happy. Sure I might know what I want to do now but I'm scared as hell about it and a 2.5hr phonecall to a friends mum helped me realise that actually I could do it but I'm still scared.
I lied when I said I was happy. I'm not, overall.
I lied when I said I didn't love you. I do.
I lied when I said I didn't care. I do and oh how it kills me to pretend that I don't care.
I lied when I said I'd be alright without you. I'm not. I'm a mess and I can't tell you.
I lied when I told you I only wanted to ask you information about a certain place. Actually I just wanted to talk to you.
I lied when I said I understood. I don't.
There are so many things I've lied about, probably lots more than the list here (though some of these are things I do on a daily basis so I've only listed them once), and sure, most of these will probably class as trivial to you but they're still lies. Which of those should I have told the truth for? Are the people I lied to better off because they thought I was happy and I understood? Am I a better person because I lied to them so I didn't make them feel bad? Seems odd to think about it like that because surely all lies are bad, aren't they?
I could go down that list and state the reasons why I lied but anyone who's ever lied will understand why I lied. I don't think it makes me a better person but sometimes it does seem right to save the other person the pain they get with the truth. That said, my track record with telling the truth hasn't been great, it's lost me friends, so maybe lying is the better answer. Or am I lying about that?