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Are you proud to be British?

Are you proud to be British?
Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.
And the most British thing of all? Suspicion of anything foreign.

Oh and......

-Only in Britain... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
-Only in Britain... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
-Only in Britain... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke.
-Only in Britain... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.
-Only in Britain... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
-Only in Britain... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
-Only in Britain... are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink. 


3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.

142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.

58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.

31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.

19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.

British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling accidents.

101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet.

18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.

A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.

5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of control Scalextric cars.
and finally.........

In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet.

I am proud to be British

This is kind of old now (I've had this for years now) but I'm still sure that some of these are the same with America though....



( 2 humble opinions — Your humble opinion? )
Feb. 12th, 2008 11:43 am (UTC)
Holy hell, I thought we Americans were fucked up.
Cracking your skull on the toilet while vomiting? I never vomit in the toilet.. I've never been able to without making a huge mess, so I just cling to the trash can beside the toilet.
Also, all of those you listed are exactly the same here, except the medicine in a supermarket. Usually the pharmacy is in the front, off to the side.. but the cigarettes are still closer. They're right in your face as you walk in the door.

I'm sure we have more fat people, though.
Feb. 12th, 2008 02:15 pm (UTC)
LOL. No, the toilet is a friend of mine... or it is every time I'm ill! The thought of using anything else... urgh. At least you can flush it away in a toilet!

The pharmacy/cigarette thing still amuses me.
( 2 humble opinions — Your humble opinion? )


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